The World We Know
by diamondpearl876
Summary: This is the world they know, and there is nothing else. // 90 tc drabbles.
1. devil x Never Too Late

This will be a collection of 90 drabbles for the Trauma Center series for the drabbleday challenge at LiveJournal. Updated daily, because, well, that's the challenge. All drabbles will be 100, 150, 200, 250, or 300 words.

I own nothing.

_[ #4 devil x 150 words x rated pg-13 x general/drama ]_

_[ second opinion spoilers ]_

Never Too Late

When Derek and Angie find the children in the abandoned laboratory, they know exactly who to blame.

"Delphi... They're a bunch of devils, Derek," Angie states softly.

"I know," Derek replies. He watches the children in disbelief, and they stare back with frightened, bloodshot eyes. They appear as if they haven't eaten or bathed in weeks, maybe even months. Some clutch their throats, others their stomachs, aware of the disease that tears at their insides.

"Do you think it's too late after everything they've been through?"

Derek thinks of the times he had accomplished things he originally thought he couldn't. This was no different, he decided.

They could be saved.

They _would_ be saved.

He can make it happen, he knows. He looks at the children again, and sees them trying to hide behind one another before answering.

"It's never too late, Angie. Let's get started with the first operation."


	2. hope x Encouragement

I own nothing.

_[ #5 hope x 250 words x rated pg x hurt/comfort/friendship/drama ]_

_[ second opinion spoilers ]_

Encouragement

Derek knew Angie was the kind of person to yell out insults, but he never expected that she would go so far as to say that operating on a patient was a waste of time.

"Operating on Linda Reid was worth it. She knows that now," Derek told Angie after she had fled the room and he and Linda had had a chance to talk in private.

Angie says nothing, and stares at the ground. Derek wonders if he's going to be able to get through to Angie at all.

"It... Well, it just took her longer to realize that her life is worth living, unlike some other patients we've had. That's all."

"Still, Derek, I can't believe I said something like that! She must think I'm terrible, like she thinks of everyone else. I made everything worse, and you know it," she said, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

Derek walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, and gave her a reassuring hug. He didn't want to see her cry--not over something that she could easily fix if she really tried to.

"You shouldn't cry. Stay with her if no one's with her and talk with her and show her that you didn't mean it."

After a few moments, Angie's sobbing ceased. "I... I guess you're right. I hope Linda will forgive me, because, really, I didn't mean it..."

"You'll be fine, Angie. Come on." Derek smiled, and led her to Linda's room.


	3. show x Motivation

I own nothing.

_[ #6 show x 100 words x rated pg x friendship/drama ]_

_[ swearing ]_

Motivation

"Victor, why don't you just--"

"No! Your plan is stupid, and you know it," Victor interrupts the other doctor, wondering how he ever got a job at Caduceus in the first place.

"It is not. Yours is," Tyler insists, grinning.

"Who the hell do you think you are, anyway!? Bastard..."

"Am not."

"This is life and death we're talking about here, and you're joking around!" Victor cries.

"Are not."

"God damnit... I'll show you that my plan is better!"

"I know you will," Tyler says, soft enough so Victor can't hear him. He leaves with a smirk on his face.


	4. tremble x Everything

I own nothing.

_[ #7 tremble x 150 words x rated g x drama/romance ]_

_[ cybilxgreg ]_

Everything

Often, Cybil wonders where everything between her and Greg began.

Maybe, just maybe, it was a love at first sight kind of thing, and it began the moment they made eye contact with each other.

It doesn't sound right to Cybil. It isn't like her to not get to know a person first.

Maybe, just maybe, it was when she trembled and revealed to Greg that even the toughest people can be weak, and still, he comforted her and accepted this different side of her.

Wrong. That's not correct, either, Cybil thinks.

Maybe, just maybe, it was when she first saw Greg's determination to help fight against diseases and save people's lives.

...Cybil doesn't ever think she'll ever get this right.

In the end, Cybil has to convince herself that it doesn't even matter, because everything is gone, and there is nothing she can do about it. Gone, gone, gone.


	5. scare x The Other Side

I own nothing.

_[ #8 scare x 200 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ second opinion spoilers ]_

The Other Side

Even though his life is in the hands of two very skilled and trustworthy doctors, Derek is still scared. He just won't admit it.

Derek knows the fear is unnecessary, that Angie and Dr. Kimishima would never allow anything to happen to him, but he can't help it. He assumes it's only natural to feel this way.

He lies on a hospital bed, staring up at the white ceiling, while the others prepare for his surgery. He feels as if the pure, innocent color of the ceiling is welcoming him into Heaven, a place he doesn't want to be in anytime soon. He doesn't want to move, for he knows the disease that is destroying him on the inside will punish him for it. He refuses to talk, because he doesn't want the reassuring responses that will mean nothing at all.

Derek realizes now that this is probably what all of his patients are thinking as they enter surgery, and that they won't be completely reassured until the surgery is over and successful.

As he starts to fall into unconsciousness, he tells himself that his surgery is good for one thing: to see what it's like on the other side.


	6. patron x Don't Call Me Boss

I realize almost no one on here likes yaoi, but... Ugh. Only thing I could think of for this prompt. I own nothing.

_[ #9 patron x 150 words x rated pg x angst/drama/romance ]_

_[ sidneyxderek, yaoi, minor second opinion spoilers ]_

Don't Call Me Boss

"Hey, boss, do you--"

"Derek!" Sidney cries, slamming his hands down on his desk, causing some paperwork to fall to the floor and the man standing in front of him to jump in surprise.

"I'm... I'm sorry, boss. Is this... a bad time?" Derek asks quietly.

Sidney has to force himself to keep his eyes off of Derek, and to scream at him again. He won't make eye contact with his doctor because he's afraid his doctor will see right through him and realize the feelings he's been hiding for so long. He can't yell again, not ever again, because he knows Derek wouldn't want to be with someone like him, not at all...

When Derek calls him boss, it is a bitter reminder for Sidney of what could never be.

"No... No, it's not." He sighs, because really, it is, and it always will be. "What do you need?"


	7. lost x Words I Can't Say

I own nothing.

_[ #10 lost x 200 words x rated pg x angst/drama ]_

_[ minor swearing ]_

Words I Can't Say

Victor has always found it difficult to say what is truly on his mind. When anyone shows any sign of kindness or friendship, he pushes it away, although he doesn't want to.

"The lies feel better to tell."

(_But not really._)

- x -

"Do you need help with anything, Victor? I'm not doing much right now..." Tyler says.

"You _never_ do much. I don't need help from someone like you."

(_I could use a little help right now, actually... Oh well. He already left_.)

- x -

"Do you really think you can do this in such a short time, Victor?" Sidney asks.

"Of course I can. I'll have it done in no time. Everything will be perfect."

(_I don't know... This is unlike anything I've ever done before, but I'll try._)

- x -

"Do you care about the patients, Victor?" Derek questions.

"Why the hell would I? I've never met a single one of them!"

(_Maybe, just maybe, I do. What's the point of my job if I don't care?_)

- x -

"I'm lost and confused. I don't know why I can't just say what I mean..." Victor says.

Finally, _finally_, he feels he has said something worth listening to--the truth.

But no one is around to hear.


	8. near x Something Worth Living For

I own nothing.

_[ #11 near x 100 words x rated pg x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie, minor second opinion spoilers ]_

Something Worth Living For

To Derek, Angie was like a teddy bear. She loved unconditionally. She loved her patients, her job, everyone and everything, and that was what Derek admired most about her.

To Derek, Angie was like a teddy bear. He noticed that his assistant's skin was soft when they accidentally bumped into each other. It was thrilling to feel her muscles jump at even the slightest touch.

To Derek, Angie was like a teddy bear. She was _real_, and in this world that was now forced to face medical terrorism, she reminded him that there were still some things worth living for.


	9. loss x Nothing But Perfection

I own nothing.

_[ #12 loss x 200 words x rated pg-13 x general/drama ]_

_[ second opinion spoilers, swearing ]_

Nothing But Perfection

As much as I hate it, Derek Stiles is an essential part of Caduceus in everyone else's eyes. If there's a major operation that needs to be done, Derek is the doctor chosen. If a representative is needed, Derek is the one sent in our place.

If it were anyone else at all, I wouldn't mind _as_ much. Maybe. But... this is pathetic. It should be someone with more experience, someone who didn't let a patient come close to death for personal reasons, and someone who doesn't need this so-called "Healing Touch" to help save people's lives. It should be someone who isn't a complete idiot.

Caduceus needs nothing but perfection, and I fit that role. I'm the head of research and development for a reason. I've come up with countless amounts of treatments for diseases that were originally thought incurable. I focus on my job, and my job alone. I keep everyone in line, otherwise not much would get done.

Everyone acknowledges my talents, my skills. Sure, they'll call me a genius. The best. But when it comes down to it, the praise all goes to one Derek Stiles.

Whatever. Fuck all of them. It's their loss, I say.


	10. before x One And The Same

I own nothing.

_[ #13 before x 300 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

One And The Same

Victor never expected to find someone so similar to him at Caduceus.

He walked through the busy halls, searching for Sidney, who had important information pertaining to a GUILT serum. Someone--specifically, a patient--had the nerve to stop him in his tracks.

"Doctor! Can you come here, please?"

Victor turned toward the voice to find a man staring at him. He wanted to just keep on walking and pretend he didn't hear anything, but it would've been rude, and he didn't need to ruin his perfect reputation now. Instead, he made his way toward the patient's room and paused at the door, refusing to go any further.

"What do you need?"

"Every doctor has told me no, but I hope you can help me. I want to get out here before it's too late," he said desperately. "I can't stand the nurses letting me walk on this floor's halls only. They only offer me dead ends. I just... need to leave."

Victor was stunned. He hardly talked to patients because there was never a need to, but he knew this wasn't a normal request.

"You're not--"

"Your job is to make patients happy, right? Leaving will make me happy. Please, help me."

Victor simply looked at him. Seeing the sorrow and desolation in his eyes, he could relate to this patient. They both didn't want to be here as often as they were because any other place could offer so much more. The only difference between them was that the man vocalized what he really wanted, and Victor didn't.

Victor felt like they were one and the same. He responded with, "I'm here all day, every day. Get over it. If I ever find a way for either of us to leave for good, I'll let you know," and walked away.


	11. gain x Everything Is All Right

Something simple for a lazy day... I own nothing.

_[ #14 gain x 150 words x rated pg-13 x general/drama ]_

_[ mentions of suicide and self-harm, second opinion spoilers]_

Everything Is All Right

_Dear Dr. Stiles,_

_It's been a few weeks since I left the hospital, but already, things have gotten better thanks to you! _

_Well, first, I want to say I'm so sorry about saying that you and the nurse wasted your time on me. I'm so very sorry. Really, I'm glad that... Well, what was it called? GUILT? Whatever it was, I'm glad it's gone. I promise. _

_I think you'll be especially happy to know that I don't think about hurting or killing myself anymore. You told me I should just make myself happy, to not worry about anyone else, so I tried doing that, and it worked. I've learned a lot of new things about myself this way, things I wouldn't have known if it weren't for you, and it's made me happy that I can just be myself without any fear._

_Thank you so, so much._

_Sincerely,_

_Linda Reid_


	12. four x No One Understands

I own nothing.

_[ #15 four x 250 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

No One Understands

Victor steps into Sidney's office after his presence was requested. Victor doesn't know what he wants, since he knows he has done nothing wrong. There was no acceptance for imperfection in his life, and Sidney surely isn't about to ruin that, he thinks.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" Victor asks, folding his arms impatiently. He refuses to sit down to let Sidney know he expects this meeting to be brief, so he can get back to work as soon as possible.

"I wanted to talk to you about your behavior toward the other workers here," Sidney says calmly.

"What is this? Elementary school?" Victor says loudly. "There should be no reason for this."

Sidney sighs. "I'll be blunt, Victor. You're disrespectful to all of them, pushing them away even if they're trying to help you. You always seem to make the tougher situations worse. Others need encouragement and reassurance, not your pessimism."

"What do you expect? Honestly, they act like a bunch of four-year-olds! They need to grow up and realize--"

"I expect you to act like you care, and to show us that you are capable of feeling something besides anger," Sidney interrupts harshly.

Victor opens his mouth to say something, but stops himself. He wants to prove Sidney wrong, because he _does_ care and he _does_ feel more, but he doesn't know how to express it.

He turns around and leaves without saying a word. Sidney and anyone else at Caduceus could never understand.


	13. widows x It's Not Over

I own nothing.

_[ #16 widows x 300 words x rated pg x angst/drama/family ]_

_[ mentions of death, sidney-centric ]_

It's Not Over

You don't want to be the one to break the news. Really, you don't, and you don't even remember how you were fooled into doing this, but it doesn't matter anymore because there's no turning back now as you stare sadly at the woman in front of you.

You know that she no longer has a husband, and you know exactly how she feels, since you're a widower yourself. You hope that your eyes will say everything for you, because every word would be like hearing both of your fragile hearts shattering into a million pieces.

"How is he? Is he okay? Please tell me," the woman pleads.

Your eyes have failed you, it seems. Either that, or she's desperately trying to convince herself your eyes are deceiving her. You wish they were, but they're not.

You sigh deeply, and turn away from her. You don't want to see the tears if you don't have to.

"I'm sorry... We did as much as we could. H-He didn't make it," you finally say.

You feel your heart racing, racing, racing so fast, ready to explode, burst, shatter at any given moment, and you just can't stand it, so you try to distract yourself.

Count how many tiles are on the floor.

"Why didn't he--"

Remember the work that has to be done today.

"But our kids... What about--"

Wonder why the sky is blue.

"I don't understand..."

You can't focus on anything else anymore as you feel the woman crash into you, her arms suddenly around your neck and sobbing into your clothes. You do the only thing that's right at the moment, and embrace her, saying nothing. You think you'll feel relieved when she lets go, leaves, and you can return back to your work.

But, it's never truly over.


	14. sing x The Little Things

I own nothing.

_[ #17 sing x 300 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ mentions of death ]_

The Little Things

I don't see how everyone can act so... so... _happy_ around Caduceus when people are dying, crying, and losing hope every second.

The others know it's true. They don't deny it one bit, and still, they continue to laugh and joke around, singing and just talking about absolutely nothing with each other and with their patients. And it all seems so genuine. Nothing seems faked, and it confuses me even more.

I decide to ask Derek about it. Once. Just once. I tell myself to never again show interest in their cheerfulness after I receive an answer. He seems to be the most respected person right now, so I figure he _might_ have something decent to respond with. I highly doubt it, but I can still try.

"Don't you see, Victor? We have to keep everyone's spirits up high. It helps patients fight against their diseases longer, and we have a greater chance of saving them," Derek says. "As for us, well, seeing the patients filled with the hope and joy we give them is one of the most rewarding parts of being a doctor."

I want to protest, to say that, ultimately, the patients have no control over how long they can survive against their diseases. I want to convince him that the most rewarding part of his job should be confirming that diseases thought to be incurable are finally beaten after hours of difficult work. I say nothing, because an idiot like him would still insist on living in a fantasy world where stupid, little things cause happiness while reality is waiting for the correct moment to take it all away.

I see Derek smile and shrug his shoulders as I turn to leave. Unfortunately for him, that smile of his won't last as long as he thinks.


	15. wish x Snow

I own nothing.

_[ #18 wish x 200 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ minor swearing ]_

Snow

"Victor, don't you think the snow is pretty?" Angie tries to ask before the man has a chance to leave Caduceus, not expecting a response.

"Snow...?" he says to no one in particular. He stops walking and looks away from the ground to notice the snow falling to the ground through the doors.

"Yeah..." Angie mumbles, wondering why he's acting strange.

"It's been a very long time since I've seen snow," Victor says quietly.

"Victor, there's been snow on the ground for at least two weeks now."

"Well, how the hell am I supposed to know that?"

"If you went home more often, you'd know! Don't you wish that you left more often now?"

Victor mutters something that Angie can't hear, and continues staring at the snow. The white snow. The white makes it all seem pure and innocent, but Victor can remember enough to know that snow is cold, so very cold. It reminds him of the diseases he should be finding cures for right now. They hide and make people appear as if they're just fine, then when it takes effect, it shows just how deadly it can really be.

"I didn't hear you..."

"No, not at all."


	16. drink x Listen

I own nothing.

_[ #19 drink x 300 words x rated pg-13 x hurt/comfort/drama ]_

_[ underage drinking ]_

Listen

"Dr. Niguel, is that you?"

Victor's head sharply turns in the direction of the voice, wondering why it sticks out to him in the bar above anything else. When he sees the woman's black hair, her dark eyes and her tired smile, he definitely knows he has seen her before.

"I'm sorry, but who are you...?" he says, hardly able to remember her name. The names of patients were insignificant to him, so he tried to push them into the back of his mind to focus on other things.

"Linda Reid," she says, still smiling.

Victor smiles back, which was something he wouldn't normally do. This was the woman who had revealed to the world that GUILT existed and had given Victor a new challenge, a new disease to successfully destroy.

"Yes, I remember you," he says calmly. He goes to take a sip of his drink, and suddenly remembers something.

"What is it, Dr. Niguel?"

"Aren't you... too young to be here?" he questions, setting his drink down on the counter.

"True, but the people here are easy to fool," she admits. "Alcohol was something I turned to a long time ago..."

"It hasn't been that long since you left the hospital. Your body is still recovering, and you shouldn't be drinking so soon... Well, you shouldn't be drinking, period, but even more so now."

She looks away from him and frowns. "I know. A lot of things led up to the drinking, and it's hard to stop..."

"What happened, exactly?" Victor asks, surprised at his own question, but then realizes that he feels he owes her for what she has done for him and decides it's not unlike him at all to be offering to listen.

"It's a long story..."

"Tell me. I've got time to hear it."


	17. you x Assistant

I own nothing.

_[ #20 you x 100 words x rated pg-13 x general/drama ]_

_[ swearing ]_

Assistant

"Victor, would you ever consider getting an assistant to work with you in the lab?"

"No, Tyler. I don't need one."

"Why not? There's gotta be times where you need some help down here alone..."

"I told you. I don't need one."

"I think you're lying."

"Really, now? Fine. I'll get a hot female assistant who wears mini-skirts to work, and then you can take her away from me every day to do what ever it is you want to do. Okay?"

"You're actually gonna do that? Dang, Victor, I owe you one!"

"You're a fucking idiot, you know that?"


	18. new x Alive

I own nothing.

_[ #21 new x 100 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ mentions of blood ]_

Alive

Dr. Hoffman was surprised that doing surgery after years of avoiding it felt like it was nothing new to him at all.

He made no mistakes. The smell and the sight of the blood didn't terrify him, and he never had to wonder what to do next. He moved swiftly with confidence, shoving the incident from way back when into the back of his mind. He commanded his assistants for the different tools with authority.

When he was done, the shocked and speechless reactions were the same as ever.

And Dr. Hoffman remembered what it felt like to be alive.


	19. weak x Even If It Hurts

I own nothing.

_[ #22 weak x 200 words x rated pg x angst/drama/family]_

_[ mentions of death ]_

Even If It Hurts

When he's not working, which isn't very often, Sidney spends most of his time thinking about _her_. He misses her, and he never tries to convince himself that he doesn't.

Sidney will look at photographs of them, and every time, he realizes how much he misses her touch, and how much he misses being her friend, her husband, her lover...

Sidney will visit the her grave, and every time, he hears her voice ringing through his ears, but it just isn't the same. He misses the sound of her voice and the smile or frown or indifferent expression that would accompany her words.

Sidney will see married couples walking down the street, holding hands and laughing, and every time, he misses having someone who would listen to him and understand him during the most difficult situations.

Sidney will have family members speak of her, and every time, he leaves without a word, more disappointed than before, because they tell him nothing new.

He figures he's weak and pathetic for all of this, but he doesn't care. He refuses to ignore it all and let the memories fade away. It's the last thing he wants to do, even if it hurts.


	20. understand x The Reason

I own nothing. And... I don't think the real reason for Greg's becoming a surgeon was ever explained so I made something up. ._.

_[ #23 understand x 150 words x rated pg x angst/drama/friendship]_

_[ mentions of death]_

The Reason

When people ask Greg why he became a surgeon, he never answers them.

Greg will unwillingly remember why he became a surgeon later when the question turns up again in his mind. He'll remember his one friend with leukemia, and the weekly hospital visits. He'll remember having to hopelessly reassure his friend that he'd be okay and go back to his normal life soon enough. He'll remember the doctors rushing in and pushing him out of the way, leaving him lost and confused and then returning to him later with good news that would only be taken back later, and finally, the fact that his friend is gone, gone, forever gone comes, and he hates himself for not saying good-bye.

No one understands why Greg never answers them, and they don't understand that he doesn't want to experience all the pain again, but things never seem to go as planned.


	21. story x Determination

I own nothing.

_[ #24 story x 200 words x rated pg x general/drama]_

_[ second opinion spoilers, minor swearing ]_

Determination

The fact that I was unable to save Richard Anderson is unacceptable. He only died because I didn't come up with a cure fast enough. It wasn't his fault. He fought for his life and was expecting to wake up to good news, but I failed him.

As if that isn't bad enough, there's a story featured in the newspaper about it all.

The details aren't specific, but there's enough to drive me insane. They say he was a victim of GUILT, and that Dr. Stiles and Dr. Niguel had tried their hardest to rescue him, but it just wasn't enough...

They had the nerve to use my name. There was no reason for it, but they did it anyway. It was a subtle announcement to the world that I'm the worst member of the research and development section of Caduceus.

I crumple the newspaper in my hand and throw it into the garbage, only to miss, just as I had missed the chance to save Secretary Anderson's life. I go to return to my work, because the fight against GUILT isn't over yet, and it won't be anytime soon.

I'll show those journalists just how wrong they are, damnit.


	22. faith x Cycle Down

I own nothing.

_[ #25 faith x 300 words x rated pg-13 x angst/tragedy ]_

_[ second opinion spoilers, euthanasia ]_

Cycle Down

The job of being the Death Doctor isn't as fulfilling as Tyler makes it out to be.

Tyler gets ready to inject the needle that will take away the suffering man's life away from him. It's such a powerful weapon, and he wonders if he's doing the right thing and not just for the feeling of superiority. He sees the man again and his shallow breathing that is threatening to disappear at any moment and his closed eyes that have almost no chance of opening again, and Tyler knows that he's not doing this for his benefit.

He looks at the man's wife next, her tears falling from her bloodshot eyes. She nods quickly and looks toward her husband. She holds his hand, taking advantage of Tyler's decision to allow her to be there in his last moments.

Finally, Tyler sighs deeply and inserts the lethal substance, just as he has a million times before. He's done and pulls away a few seconds later, but to him, it goes slowly, so slowly, and it seems the nightmare is never going to end. He hates himself for doing this, for being the cause of all the misery and the lonely nights in the future, but he knows they both had faith in this, and his job is to satisfy others, and that's the only comfort he has as he sees the woman lay her head on the man's chest and burst into tears once more.

He leaves the room silently, and waits outside the door, just in case she needs someone when she can't take the lack of her husband's heartbeat and his cold body anymore.

And, after that, his job will be done, until he is needed once more, and then the cycle will repeat itself, over and over again.


	23. disappear x Can't Take It In

I own nothing.

_[ #26 disappear x 100 words x rated pg x angst/drama/family ]_

_[ second opinion spoilers ]_

Can't Take It In

It had been years since Kenneth had seen his daughter Angie, but it seemed so easy to recognize her. The one part of her appearance that stood out the most was her eyes.

Her green eyes were illustrious, just as he had always remembered them to be. But now, he could see the caution in her eyes, watching for any signs of imminent betrayal. She was hoping for an apology, watching for the torture of having to choose whether or not she should forgive him.

Kenneth just wanted to disappear, because it was all his fault, and he knew it.


	24. magician x Annoyances

I own nothing.

_[ #27 magician x 100 words x rated g x general/drama ]_

Annoyances

"Sidney, what did you want to be when you were growing up?"

"What do you mean, Greg?"

"I mean, every little kid dreams of being something, right? Maybe they want to be a firefighter, a pilot, or a member of the police..."

"I never had a dream like that."

"I bet you did, Sidney. I bet you wanted to join the circus."

"You would be able to fit the job perfectly. Not me. Sorry."

"Oh? I bet you wanted to be a magician then."

"Magic tricks are fake."

"Then what did you want to be?"

"_Greg_!"

"Fine, fine. I'll stop."


	25. quest x Presence

I own nothing.

_[ #28 quest x 100 words x rated g x drama/romance ]_

Presence

"Derek, do you--"

"Angie, I'm really busy right now!" Derek says harshly without meaning to. He stops typing on his laptop to give an apologetic look and adds, "I'm sorry, Angie. I want to get this research done. I really want to know more about this disease our patient has."

"I understand," she replies, smiling. "Is there any way I can help?"

"Just come here," he says, pulling over a seat for her to use. "Sit down."

Angie does so reluctantly, and feels Derek put his arm around her reassuringly.

"Just your presence here will help me," he says, grinning.


	26. obey x Pressure

I own nothing.

_[ #29 obey x 300 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

Pressure

Sometimes, Victor's hands shake.

Victor's hands are constantly using fragile glasses containing chemicals that are destined to change the world, and sometimes, they'll shake, causing him to lose all concentration. The chemicals spill and and the glass shatters, ruining his entire experiment. Instead of worrying about burning or cutting himself, he wonders how he's ever going to get his experiment back on the right track.

Victor's hands are constantly writing his articles until he has written down every single detail he knows and until he's one-hundred percent sure that everyone will understand how important his findings are, but sometimes, they'll shake, causing him to forget what he wants to say. The words are nothing but scribbles after that, and he can't figure out what he was trying to say and he curses to himself because it's not perfect anymore, and it never will be.

Victor's hands are constantly reading charts about patients who are in surgery, and sometimes, they'll shake, and he's afraid he's misread something, and he's too busy silently panicking to be able to focus and read it again carefully. He keeps telling someone, anyone to check the patient's vitals, just in case the operation takes an unexpected turn because of him. He refuses to take any chances.

Victor's hands are constantly shaking when he wonders why they shake so often. He'll look at them, and unwillingly, they're moving slightly in all different directions and they just won't obey him when he tries to stop them. Finally, he comes to the conclusion that it's because of all the pressure. The experiments, the articles, and the surgeries... Everything depends on his perfection. He can't afford to make even one mistake.

He fears the day where he gives in to the pressure and his shaking hands, failing the entire world.


	27. see x The Runaway

One month completed... :D Though I'm 3 behind here because I started when FFN was down. Only 2 more months to go... I own nothing.

_[ #30 see x 250 words x rated pg x drama/family ]_

The Runaway

Greg was glad that he had an identical twin brother, and he was well aware that there was a special connection between them. He would always know what Sidney was thinking to the point where he could finish his sentences and know what kind of mood he was in just by seeing the expression on his face. He was able to see himself in Sidney--not only because of their looks, but because of their personalities. They had the same hobbies, liked the same foods, and it went on like this until they grew up.

Now, they're older and Greg feels that Sidney is slipping away. The only similarity now is that they both work at hospitals, but Greg is a surgeon, and Sidney is a director, and they're there for entirely different reasons. Sidney doesn't smile anymore, his eyes are always tired, and all of the activities he had enjoyed are no longer a part of him. They don't remember the last time they did something together, and whenever they're forced to be around each other, Greg can feel his sorrow. He silently pleads for a chance to help, but it never comes.

Greg suddenly doesn't see himself in Sidney anymore. Instead, all he sees is that the bond they had is gone, and that he no longer has the luxury of knowing that he's not alone in the world, that there's someone out there just like him, and he constantly wonders where his twin brother has run off to.


	28. point x It's Not What They Say

I own nothing.

_[ #31 point x 300 words x rated pg x hurt/comfort/drama ]_

_[ under the knife 2 spoilers ]_

It's Not What They Say

Emilio can't speak English very well, but he knows enough to know what a sinner is.

The Sinners are the children Delphi use for their own selfish reasons. A sinner, however, is an entirely different thing. A sinner belongs in Hell, because too many crimes were committed in the past. Emilio doesn't know which one he is anymore. He knows he's one of them, but he fears the possibility of him being both, because if that's the case, he thinks there won't be a point to living anymore. There would be no way to redeem himself. He would be too far gone, impossible to save.

He decides to ask about it Heather one day, because there's no one else to turn to. He tells himself it'll be the last thing he'll ask of her depending on her response. Emilio can see her heart breaking the moment he's done speaking.

"Emilio...! Of course you're not!" she says in Spanish. She reaches out and embraces him. "Nothing they made you do was your fault. You did nothing wrong. You shouldn't ever think that."

Emilio slowly returns the action, unsure of her answer. Were her words true? Could she possibly believe that after millions of people were infected with GUILT--all because of him? He thinks about what else she has done for him, and he smiles faintly. He remembers that Heather is the one he trusts above more than anyone else, and that her main goal is to have him live a normal life once again. If Heather didn't think he was a sinner, then he wasn't. He believes her, because she was always right about everything, always by his side.

He then asks what will become of him in the future, because he knows now he still has so far to go.


	29. fin x The Only Thing That Matters

I own nothing.

_[ #32 fin x 250 words x rated pg x angst/drama ]_

_[ under the knife 2 spoilers, mentions of death ]_

The Only Thing That Matters

One of the worst parts about being a doctor is being confronted by the reporters that don't know how to ask the right questions.

After Emilio's death, they're everywhere. They're in the worst places at the worst times, and they ask the worst questions possible when they're around, and they expect me to answer every single one of them.

"Dr. Stiles, what has Caduceus found out about this new type of GUILT?"

I want to tell them that they_ should _be asking about Emilio's death itself. It was definitely a greater tragedy than the new strain he possessed.

"Is there any idea who could be behind all of this again?"

I want to tell them that they _should_ be asking about the boy who had unwillingly fallen into the hands of Delphi and was forced to help with a disease that would ruin the lives of millions of people.

"What are your plans for future operations?"

I want to tell them that they _should_ be asking about what will be done in memory of Emilio.

But they don't care.

They just _don't_.

I walk away without saying a word. I can hear them calling, fury and disappointment present in their voices, but it doesn't matter to me. They're not important to me, but Emilio was and forever will be. If they won't remember him or even show the slightest interest in him, then I will, always. And I can promise I won't get caught up in the same mistakes again.


	30. are x Home

I own nothing.

_[ #33 are x 250 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ mentions of violence ]_

Home

You've never had a place you were glad to call home.

You had a home filled with family members. That home, however, was solitary, heartless, voiceless...

The list could go on forever, you think, but you stop there. You don't like thinking about it anymore.

It changed you. The violence made you into the angry and bitter man you are today. You trust no one, and you keep your true emotions hidden. You've never known how to handle them any other way, because every time you tried to show your feelings honestly, you were punished for it.

When you escaped, you somehow made your way into Caduceus. It all seemed hopeless, but you never gave up because it was the only chance you had to succeed at _something_. Still, you're the same, but everything surrounding you is different. You can feel it, and you can see it. The doctors and patients are joyful and are eager to help each other overcome the diseases they face every day.

Since you have nowhere else to go, you believe that when you are at Caduceus, you are, once again, home. This home, however, is inspiring, instigating, forgiving, humane, fervent, enthusiastic...

The list could go on forever, you think, and you really don't want it to stop there.

It all can change just as easily as it did before. Instead of thinking about your past again, you want to focus on the present before it disappears right before your eyes, because nothing lasts forever.


	31. paperthin x Paperthin Heart

I don't think anyone will agree with what's said in this drabble, but... I think it's entirely possible. Also, I have something written already for tomorrow, but may or may not have access to a computer to update here. Meh. I own nothing.

_[ #34 paper-thin x 300 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ minor utk/so/utk2 spoiler ]_

Paper-thin Heart

Derek will say that he must save every patient--even the ones who helped with the spreading of GUILT.

He tells himself they're still real people, too. They breathe and they laugh and they smile, even if it's for all the wrong reasons. They form bonds with others and value those relationships, even if it's with all the wrong people. They have a heart, even if half of it has seemed to disappear with no intentions on returning.

But he can feel himself hesitate during their surgeries. Perhaps it's unwillingly, he hopes, but even if it was, it wouldn't change a thing. He watches Angie prepare the anesthesia, and almost wishes that they could just hurry up already, begin without it. With the scalpel, he cuts deeper and pretends he doesn't realize it, that it was just a silly mistake. He sutures the lacerations slowly, wondering what the consequences of his actions will be.

At the beginning of the surgeries, he feels confident, that he will save them, no matter what. They're real, he has to tell himself, over and over again. They're real, and they deserve to live.

A little into the surgeries, he becomes well aware his constant pausing but he just can't stop. He wonders, sometimes, why anyone isn't noticing his slow movements, why they aren't telling to move out of the way, let them take over, because they know what they're doing.

At the end of the surgeries, his heart is paper-thin, on the verge of becoming non-existent. If he could, he would give what remains of his heart to those patients, make them feel whole again and see that there's more to life than what they've created out of it.

And every single time, he hates himself for it, but he never lets it show.


	32. hymn x Say Goodbye

I own nothing.

_[ #35 hymn x 200 words x rated pg-13 x angst/drama/romance ]_

_[ victorxlinda, swearing ]_

Say Goodbye

This hurts for both of us. I know it does. I can tell it does with every word you speak, every move you make, every breath you take, and I'm pretty damn sure you can say the same for me. But, I don't see how we can do this. I don't have a fucking clue how we can, when we're both broken, clearly beyond repair. Disaster is all I can see in the future for people like us.

I don't want to be nothing but a memory to you, one that you only remember when that déjà vu shit happens.

I don't want to be a wish you made on a shooting star or a wish that you made when blowing out your birthday candles, because those never, ever come true.

I don't want to be another silly, childish dream that you had, as it's possible that when you're older, you might just wonder what the hell you were thinking when you were with me.

Just run as fast as you can, and don't look back. Don't speak, and don't try to praise the future and the joy it can bring for us, because there is nothing. Absolutely nothing.


	33. sound x Emptiness

I own nothing.

_[ #36 sound x 200 words x rated pg x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie, gregxcybil, under the knife 2 spoilers ]_

Emptiness

The days at Hope Hospital are emptier than Derek expects them to be.

He knows he has Mary, Cybil, Greg, and so many others, and that there is a chance to be the surgeon he was--or the surgeon he thought he was.

Still, something isn't right, he knows. It's not just his Healing Touch, his smile or his desire to operate that's gone, and he just can't put his finger on what's truly missing. The reassuring and congratulating words given to him by Greg and Mary at the end of all surgeries doesn't mean anything to Derek anymore. Everything said to him slips from his mind at the end of each day. The joy that Greg and Cybil have seemed to find in their busy lives doesn't effect Derek.

He isn't happy for anything or anyone, including himself.

Derek thinks, maybe, he's going crazy, but he doesn't care. He's hollow and he's broken and he wonders why can't anyone let him rest in pieces? That's what he deserves, he thinks, and then--

When he returns to Caduceus, he realizes what was wrong when he hears Angie's voice again, when he realizes it's the most beautiful sound he's ever heard.


	34. film x Spinning

This may not seem like it fits the prompt, but... it does. :P I own nothing.

_[ #37 film x 300 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ minor under the knife 2 spoiler ]_

Spinning

_i. i know you best;_

"I'm counting on you to help me lead Caduceus."

Sidney nods as he undoubtedly shares the same determination that Robert does. They're suddenly surrounded by inscrutable silence that speaks only of the incident so long ago. It still haunts the doctor, and he's frightened that something else may go wrong, and Sidney understands.

No words need to be spoken, as they both know what has to be done.

_ii._ _it's curious and careless and it's flowing through my veins;_

"I have to make sure you don't do anything crazy right now, Tyler."

Tyler wonders how Leslie can be so cheerful at a time like this. Without Derek, everyone seems depressed, unable to find the strength to keep going. Tyler thinks he'll explode somehow and he won't care about the consequences, but he controls himself.

"You're all I've really got right now, Leslie."

_iii._ _obscurity at its finest;_

"Victor, why do you insist on keeping yourself locked down here all the time?"

Why Angie is asking that, Victor doesn't know. He's been doing this for as long as he can remember. He feels no reason to explain why he's always working, why he refuses to go home, why he's the mystery he is, so he gets by with vague and unclear answers.

"That's a stupid question. You guys need new treatments for GUILT all the time, don't you?"

_iv. and now i'm closer to habit;_

"Please, let me operate on Linda!"

Stephen either has to give up yet another patient to Derek, or take over the operation himself. He doesn't think he has the heart to take control. He wants to show Caduceus that he can help fight against GUILT, but he needs to trust Derek, too.

He hands over the scalpel like he's done it a million times before.


	35. strangle x Guilty Conscience

Tried a different style for this one to portray Victor's thoughts/feelings during this. :/ I'm not sure how it turned out. I own nothing.

_[ #38 strangle x 300 words x rated r x angst/drama ]_

_[ excessive swearing, mentions of violence and death ]_

Guilty Conscience

"Victor, do you think you can face the guilt?" Derek asks, a serious tone present in his voice.

The question appears so suddenly, and you aren't prepared for it.

You panic. You see nothing. You hear nothing. You _are_ nothing. Tell yourself to bury yourself in the ground, the earth, and never come out, not ever, not _ever_. No point in breathing anymore. Tell yourself to spill your guts out to the doctor. Nevermind that. Say nothing. Nothing at all. Add to your number of sleepless nights. Tell the chemicals nearby to just take your life away already.

Questions arrive. What the hell is going on? Where the fuck could he have realized just how much guilt you feel? Analysis forms. You show nothing but fury, bitterness. Push everything and everyone away. Never speak of your past. Examine every word before you say it. There's no way. No answers given.

Your past. Hate it, love it, all at once. Screaming, tears, pain, death, wounds, nightmares, violence, escape, misery, failure. Prevents broken trust and promises later in life. Maybe. Maybe not. Don't quite know anymore. You know, however, that everything is your fault. That's what you were told, and you believe it, even today. Can't it all just go away? No. Think you deserve it. Distract yourself, somehow, someway...

"Victor? I asked if you think we can really win against GUILT..."

...Derek. Was that really what he had said? You wonder what the hell your fucked up life is trying to do to you this time.

"Of course we can," you say. Voice trembles. Still a bit shaken up. "Now, get the hell out so I can work!"

Fuck work. Fuck it all. Fuck Derek. You want to strangle him, though you know you have no one but yourself to blame.


	36. eleven x Eleven Years

I own nothing.

_[ #39 eleven x 200 words x rated pg x drama/family ]_

_[ character spoilers ]  
_

Eleven Years

After her father abandoned her family, Angie still waited for any kind of communication from him.

On her eighth birthday, the candles weren't melting on her cake because she didn't know what she wanted to wish for, unlike previous years. She instantly knew that she wanted to wish for her father's safe return.

On her ninth birthday, she asked her mother if she knew where her father was. Since he had left, there had been frequent, unbearable silences between them, and Angie wanted to break that. Her mother opened her mouth, but no words came out, and she simply left.

On her tenth birthday, she waited outside near the mailbox, thinking maybe her father remembered to send a card or a present this year. She ignored the rain and the cold and stood there until midnight, when she knew he had once again forgotten.

This went on for what seemed like forever to Angie. There were no cards, no miracles, no memories made. He had missed her learning how to drive, her high school graduation, and so much more. After eleven years total of waiting, wishing, she turned eighteen, and finally accepted that he wouldn't be there for anything important.


	37. monster x Exposed

I own nothing.

_[ #40 monster x 100 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ under the knife 2 spoilers, minor swearing ] _

Exposed

"So, you're basically on a mission to destroy the Hands of Asclepius and Acropolis. Is that correct, Professor Blackwell?"

"Yes, Victor."

"I see. Damn. I wish I was in your position, honestly. I'd love to give them a piece of my mind..."

"So would I. We have every reason for wanting to. There's something not right about them. They're monsters, pretending not to be."

"Are there _any_ medical organizations actually trying to advance in the medical field?"

"Caduceus is."

"That's too damn obvious. An organization besides us, I meant."

"It really doesn't seem like it."

"I don't think so, either."


	38. skeletons x Reality

I own nothing.

_[ #41 skeletons x 100 words x rated pg x family/angst ]_

Reality

Occasionally, Derek visits his father's grave. He'll go alone on the rare days that aren't busy, and often, he stays there longer than he had originally planned to. He'll talk to his father, believing that his words are heard. He tries to imagine his father's responses based on what little memories he still has.

Every time Derek leaves, reality reaches him. He's reminded of his father's wake, the funeral, and the doctor telling him that he couldn't do anything. He can't stand it, and he's then even more determined to prevent the same tragedy from happening to another innocent person.


	39. grace x Invincible

Um. Yeah. So, hopefully this makes sense. I was thinking of Hoffman saying how doctors can save everyone but themselves when writing this, if it helps. I own nothing.

_[ #42 grace x 300 words x rated pg x angst/drama ]_

_[ derek-centric, under the knife 2 spoilers ] _

Invincible

What makes you think that you are invincible?

Anyone at Caduceus can see it in your eyes that you're so sure. You're confident with your abilities, your gracefulness inside the operation room, but confidence can go too far sometimes. Is it because of your power? Because you haven't truly lost a patient yet?

You think you can do it all.

Think again.

- x -

You use the laser to destroy anything it can.

So why, now, is it set on wrecking your heart instead?

You use the antibiotic gel to heal any bones, and some sutures.

So why, now, are your wounds clearly exposed for the world to see, and why do your bones ache with every move you make?

You use the drain to get rid of blood that is getting in the way.

So why, now, is your mind clouded to the point where you can't even do a simple operation?

You use the forceps to remove any unwanted objects.

So why, now, do you still feel that there is a dagger in your chest?

You use the ultrasound to find hidden enemies.

So why, now, can you not find the demons lurking inside of you so you can fix yourself?

You use the scalpel to make any incisions when necessary.

So why, now, do you feel that every word and action made by others and yourself dig underneath your skin?

You use the sutures to close all incisions, and then, everything is done.

So why, now, is this nightmare of yours not appear to have an ending?

You use the syringe to help keep the patient's vitals up, and to inject any important serums.

So why, now, do you feel that no one can help you, that nothing can save you?

- x -

What makes you think that you are invincible?


	40. closet x Fight

I own nothing.

_[ #43 closet x 300 words x rated pg x hurt/comfort/drama ]_

_[ under the knife 2 spoilers, mentions of violence ] _

Fight

"I want you to hit me," Victor says sternly, his arms folded and his eyes looking straight into Derek's.

"What?" the doctor asks, no clear emotion in his voice. He doesn't sound like he cares, not really but there's surprise there, as well. Victor sighs. He doesn't believe Caduceus needs a depressed doctor like him, not now, not when the entire world is at risk once again. He thinks he'll change Derek's attitude in no time at all.

"I didn't stutter, did I? I want you to _hit_ me. I want you to hit me _as hard as you can_," Victor replies. He knows better than anyone else that any person's true nature can be seen through fighting, and he's determined to show Derek what he's learned over the years.

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Why wouldn't you? Don't you want revenge for all those times I insulted your abilities and intelligence?"

"No, not really... You have good reason to do that, anyway, so don't worry about it."

"So, you're not going to hit me?"

"No."

"Are you going to run off and cry in a closet somewhere?"

"No..."

"Then what does that tell you?"

Derek stares at him blankly, even more puzzled than before. "What do you mean?"

"Start a fight, and you're completely careless. And, you lack self-control, which is vital in operations, is it not? Don't fight at all, and you're doing the right thing, and the better side of someone is shown. You're depressed because you think you can't save anyone anymore. You think you shouldn't care anymore, because you're useless to this place. But what you just did tells me otherwise," Victor explains. He pauses, then adds, "What ever you decide to do about it is up to you," and simply walks away.


	41. knife x Espiritus

Yeah, yeah, nearly everything I write is emo--mostly this... because I can see Sidney trying to do this at least once after his wife dies. If it matters, Derek/Angie is coming soon? :P I own nothing.

_[ #44 knife x 300 words x rated pg-13 x drama/tragedy ]_

_[ attempted suicide, mentions of blood, death, and violence ]_

Espiritus

It's piercing, jagged, and it's destructive.

It's appealing, promising, and it's inviting.

And Sidney doesn't want to resist, because he has nothing else left. They have nothing to keep those blood-thirsty knives away from any part of his skin anymore.

_I want to fly away, but I'm stuck._

It's puzzling, sickening, and it's horrifying.

It's heartbreaking, desperate, and it's forbidden.

And Greg wants to prove this to his brother, because it would mean the world to him if Sidney would choose to stay. They have nothing and everything at once keeping them frozen in one place.

_But you want to fly in the wrong direction._

Greg reaches out to remind Sidney someone's there, someone cares, and to remind himself that this is real, so very real. He feels the pulse on his brother's wrist, and it's beating oh so fast, and it's screaming to him, telling him that it doesn't want to leave, not yet, maybe not ever, truly, it's not lying. Sidney's expression is one of shock and terror, confused as to what will happen next. It's all or nothing, he knows.

_Then help me decide. Help me to make up my mind._

Greg knocks the knife out of Sidney's hand, and it falls to the ground silently, but they both are well aware the incident isn't going to simply disappear anytime soon. Sidney doesn't flinch, doesn't cry in protest, doesn't try to run for the knife again. He knows Greg has decided to let fate bring them wherever at all, because every other time Sidney tried to take control, he failed. He breathes in deeply, tries to relax, and refuses to trace back the threads to the beginning. He can, but he won't and can't but he will and--

Breathe.

_But wouldn't that save you?_

_Maybe. Just maybe._


	42. seduction x Caught In Suspension

Half-way done now. Geez. Did not like this prompt, as I don't really enjoy writing smut or anything like that. Meh. I winged it... I own nothing.

_[ #45 seduction x 200 words x rated pg x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie ]_

Caught In Suspension

When Angie goes home, she tells herself it's over, it's all over, and she will never fall again. Never, ever again.

But then, he calls, and she knows what will happen if she answers the phone, but she does it anyway. She thinks she is such a foolish, foolish girl.

"What's up?" Derek will ask when she's silent and refuses to make even the smallest, quickest conversations happen between them.

Angie could say that there are stars the ceiling, really, and that he should look up, too, and maybe he'll find them there and see her face there, imagine her voice and imagine she's right there beside him. She could say those stars on the ceiling have been stranded there for as long as they can remember, and they're ready to fall permanently, to take a chance, so please, please let them go and stop holding on so tightly. They're caught in suspension, and they don't want to be anymore.

It's everything Angie wants to say.

But she avoids the question and talking to him altogether, tells him she's sorry, but she has to leave, and she'll call him later, but it's only a wish made upon those suspended stars.


	43. dirt x Crimson Petals

I own nothing.

_[ #46 dirt x 250 words x rated pg x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie, vague under the knife 2 spoiler ]_

Crimson Petals

She watches him, that broken and seemingly hopeless man, and sees that he's allowing himself to be buried underground, beneath all that is inspiring and rising and all that could be a wonderful fairy tale for him. That woman looking down on him, she says nothing, and does nothing, wondering if there's a way for both of them to break free from their chains.

There is a way, she knows. There is always a way.

One day, she brings him something and hands it to him without words, so she can be assured she's not breaking any rules, not trying to change their fate, so she knows everything will be all right in the end. He accepts all of the red, crimson petals and the stem with no thorns, and the stem that's free from dirt. When he asks her where she got it, she shrugs her shoulders as if to say she doesn't know. She doesn't, really, and she doesn't care, and instead she hopes it's not the only good thing that comes their way.

That flower? It's a rose for someone who believes himself to be a beast in everyone's eyes, including his own.

And he? It's up to him to rid the rose of the crimson petals it possesses, so it's flawless and perfect and everything it was meant to be.

And she? She's just waiting and watching for their happily ever after, or at least, the closest thing they can find to a fairy tale ending.


	44. myself x Sounds Of Freedom

I own nothing.

_[ #47 myself x 150 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

Sounds Of Freedom

The chemicals aren't saving him today.

Victor works slower than usual, and doesn't care that he's unaware if any emergencies need to be taken care of at the moment. When he sees Angie carelessly enter his lab, he remains silent. He doesn't curse, doesn't scream.

Angie looks puzzled--with good reason, Victor believes. She stands and glances around. She doesn't find anything spectacular for Victor to brag about, which is unusual. He stares, folds him arms, lets fate run its course for once.

"Is everything... all right, Victor?" she says worriedly.

"Of course," he replies simply.

"Really? I think I could guess what you're feeling right now," she says, standing comfortably now.

"What makes you think you know me better than I know myself?"

Angie ignores his question, knowing it's just a natural response for Victor, one that doesn't honestly mean anything to him.

"The chemicals aren't saving you today."


	45. demand x The Man Who Can't Be Moved

I own nothing.

_[ #48 demand x 200 words x rated pg x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie ]_

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Derek asks himself why Angie had to go away, why she had to leave him here at Caduceus with people who can never, ever replace her. But he can't dwell on the reasons why, he knows, and so he waits, day and night, for her to return to him, always prepared to take her back at any moment.

If her heart suddenly asks where in the world he could be, he knows she will lead her heart back to Caduceus. And so, he doesn't leave, even when he's allowed to, as home and anywhere else is lifeless and hollow, and this hospital--this memorable, life-changing, whimsical hospital--gives him hope that she'll come back someday soon. The others will tell him, "Don't just stay here forever," and he insists he'll stay for as long as he needs to, even if it means it's for an hour, a day, or maybe even a year or more. And when his patients say they're waiting for their family or friends, he can relate to them, and so he keeps them company until they're no longer alone, knowing Angie will do the same for him soon.

He's simply the man who can't be moved.


	46. emblem x In Color

I own nothing.

_[ #49 emblem x 200 words x rated pg x drama/romance ]_

_[ minor character spoilers ]_

In Color

Derek holds a photograph in his hands, the edges torn and the picture itself changed from black and white to a faded grey. The two in the picture are dancing, laughing, smiling, and Derek recognizes them as his own parents. He imagines them spinning and moving elegantly in a steady rhythm, and the two of them always bring out the best in the other, he notices.

Still, he can't help but wish he could see it all now with his own eyes, in color, even if he knows it's impossible. He vaguely wonders if there would be nothing but red and pink and those colors that represent the love they had, or blue, for every dark time that turned into something beautiful in the end. Would there be all the kinds of green, and they would be calm and let nature and life run its course as they danced the night away? Or would there be different variations of orange and yellows to foreshadow a tragedy that would strike later in their lives?

Derek can only wonder about that faint, misleading photograph of theirs and hope that his world can be filled with as many colors as they were someday.


	47. hard x Useless Words

I own nothing.

_[ #50 hard x 250 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ under the knife 2 spoilers, mentions of death ]_

Useless Words

"I liked you better before... well, you already know," Angie blurts out one day, and feels a twinge of regret inside of her, but only for a second. Derek needs to hear her, she knows, whether he wants to or not.

"No, I don't know," he says coldly. He doesn't even look at her.

Angie tells herself she should have expected that answer, because how can he know anything about anyone else if he doesn't even know himself anymore?

"I liked you better," she starts, sighing deeply, "before you let Emilio's death consume you. We can't change that, okay? We can't. I liked you better when I didn't have to question how much I believed in you, or how skilled of a doctor you were. Now, your heart has seemed to have hardened and closed everyone off, and I don't like it. I don't like it one bit, and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Patients, other doctors here, they can all see it too, I'm sure, and I don't know about them, but I want to see that confident smile of yours again every day, and hear those words that can reassure anyone at any time, no matter what situation they were facing."

She stops, and turns to him, only to notice he hasn't moved or changed his expression at all.

"I just... liked you better then," Angie says softly, unsure if the doctor has heard a single word she's spoken from the bottom of her desperate heart.


	48. hello x Amenities

I own nothing.

_[ #51 hello x 100 words x rated pg x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie ]_

Amenities

When Derek first met Angie, he knew she didn't seem too thrilled to meet him. He knew her greeting was only half-hearted, that she thought that whatever happened would just happen.

And Derek found himself asking too many questions silently, receiving no answers. Would it be okay if he took her breath away? Would it be okay if he told her that he smiled more every day because of her? Would it be okay if he told her that he didn't find it impossible to completely trust and love her?

All he knew was that she had him at hello.


	49. alone x Oblivion

I own nothing.

_[ #52 alone x 100 words x rated pg x angst/drama ]_

Oblivion

Stephen has come to the sudden realization that he's always alone now at Caduceus, even if he's surrounded by all the doctors in the building.

He thinks he could easily wear a badge on his clothes made of vinyl, a material that's useful and desired, unlike him, and so he thinks he could fool everyone else with it, including himself. He could simply say the badge was to tell the world he's no longer permanently a member of Caduceus. He could say he's a visitor, or maybe someone like a sick patient.

Still, he doesn't think anyone would notice.


	50. over x Excursion

I own nothing.

_[ #53 over x 150 words x rated pg x angst/drama ]_

Excursion

At times, Caduceus makes Victor feel like nothing but a mere tourist.

He walks through the crowded halls and watches the doctors and the nurses, scrutinizes their every word and their every action. He participates in surgeries as often as he can and evaluates their speed, their accuracy, their determination.

Victor then returns to the lab, and he asks himself questions that never receive answers. He wonders why they all stab themselves in the back with false hopes and dreams, and why they don't follow instructions as carefully as they should during operations.

He just tries to figure out what they do and why they do it, because he doesn't understand the world they live in, and he wants to belong somewhere, despite his isolated self.

And, well, he can honestly say he's ready for his tour to be over, because he already knows this place isn't right for him.


	51. force x Moving Forward

I own nothing.

_[ #54 force x 200 words x rated pg x angst/drama ]_

_[ character spoilers ]_

Moving Forward

Heather thinks that the memories can disappear if she tries to force them out of her mind, out of her life forever.

It should be so very simple, she thinks. She's worked with several other patients, interacted with them and made bonds that she knows can never be broken, never be replaced. She convinces herself that forgetting just one would be nothing at all. It would be an easy task, as long as she has everyone else to lean on before, during, and after the process.

But it is different than she expects, Heather realizes. She watches the clock, and she doesn't wish the hands would go backward, because it would mean she would have to start over, and she thinks that as if she believes she's gotten somewhere to begin with in this slow process of forgetting that innocent boy. Instead, she wishes it would just stop moving altogether because that's how it should've been then and how it should be now, but the clock moves forward and her heart keeps beating despite her desperate pleas.

This shouldn't hurt so much, she thinks, and it shouldn't be so hard to push him away.

But it does, and it is.


	52. belief x In This Life

I own nothing.

_[ #55 belief x 250 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ character spoilers ]_

In This Life

Adel can remember a past life, much to his dismay.

He can recall a life of hatred for those who were ruining his country, and he can recall a life where his only goal in life was to save those who were suffering from the attacks on his homeland. He can recall a life where one Derek Stiles showed up, doctors who offered him a chance and gave him hope and only increased his desire to extend his knowledge. He can recall this so-called doctor knowing that he needed help immediately, and he can recall that this so-called doctor never showed up in the end, and so everything came crashing down.

But now, Adel's life is different, thanks to his new and improved Healing Touch.

He has a life consisting of speed, precision, accuracy, perfection. In this life, he does nothing wrong, can do nothing wrong, as long as he has his ability to help him. He works with others just like him now and in this life, there are no fools who try and convince themselves they're actually doctors. In this life, there are people expressing their gratitude each and every day, because he's working so very hard to destroy one of the worst diseases humanity has ever seen. There's nowhere else he'd rather be, and there's no one else he'd rather be.

Adel doesn't believe it could be any better than this, and so, he'll stay in this life, he thinks, because it's just that much more rewarding.


	53. innocence x Repentance

I own nothing.

_[ #56 innocence x 200 words x rated pg x angst/drama ]_

_[ new blood spoilers ]_

Repentance

Markus hadn't quite expected for Professor Wilkens's surgery to be so lurid.

It was all his fault--or most of it was, anyway, but either way, it was haunting him as he prepared for and performed the inevitable operation. The spirit of what he had thought was forgotten forever hovered over him, snickering at him, taunting him.

_We're back. Did you miss us? No, you say? Well, this isn't some kind of sudden abduction. It was a choice you made, Markus,_ the seemingly unknown disease said, and the words echoed through Markus's fragile mind, over and over again.

And he saw Professor Wilkens lying motionless, eyes closed, but still, he was smiling, because he knew he had gotten the best of Markus, and no matter what the outcome of the surgery was, Markus would still be well aware that he was guilty, guilty, guilty.

_Only you can do this operation. You can destroy it inside of me, or the research. It all depends. That's what you want, isn't it? To hide it away from the world... but it doesn't mean it'll be gone from your mind,_ the professor said, and his words rang through Markus's ears, over and over again.


	54. coast x Persistence

I own nothing.

_[ #57 coast x 300 words x rated g x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie, minor under the knife 2 spoiler ]_

Persistence

"I have to go to an operation with Dr. Chase now," Angie claims, determination present in her words. She goes to open the door, looks at the man watching her carefully and adds, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"You think the surgery will continue on until tomorrow, huh?" Derek asks playfully. He sits down next to the door, resting his back against the wall.

"What are you doing...?" Angie says, puzzled, waiting for any kind of sign that the doctor intended to get up and leave soon.

"I'm going to wait here until you're done."

"Why would you do that? You're free to go home, you know! It's not very often that you get let out early. You should sleep. You should spend some time with family," she replies. "Or spend time with friends, like your new assistant, I guess," she adds softly, glancing down at the ground awkwardly.

"I could do that, couldn't I?" He grins. He's set on destroying the obvious jealousy. "But I'd rather be here for you when you get out. And then, maybe, we can get something to eat, go to my place or your place, or if you really feel up to it, just travel to the coast, just the two of us, and go to a beach or something because we really need a break and--"

"You know this surgery could take hours, right?" she interrupts quickly, feeling her face burning and turning a deep shade of red.

"I know that."

"So you're going to wait here?"

"That's right."

"I can't stop you, can I?"

"Not at all."

"Well, it's your choice, really. A foolish choice, but... I'll see you later, then, I suppose," she says, and enters the operation room, trying to hide her smile and embarrassment from Derek as she does so.


	55. seem x Irony

This, um... features two very minor patients in New Blood: Chandler Forbes and Oliver McHale. Chandler was the snobby rich kid who was tricked into making a donation by Valerie, because Oliver couldn't afford the operation. Just so no one asks who and what the heck I'm talking about. I own nothing.

_[ #58 seem x 300 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ new blood spoilers ]_

Irony

Oliver sits in a wheelchair, still recovering from his surgery that had taken place not even a week ago and taking a break from being stranded in his plain hospital room. He allows himself to be pushed by the doctors that had been so kind to taken him in despite their usual rules. He breathes--in, out, in, out, grateful for each and every time his chest rises and falls, rises and falls.

On their way to nowhere in particular, he hears another boy's voice. It's loud and obnoxious and Oliver tries to think nothing of it at all, but he can't ignore it when they encounter the boy.

"I don't need to be in a wheelchair! Are you kidding me!? I can walk. Jimmy can walk, so I can walk, right? That's what I thought," he says rudely. Oliver simply stares. To him, it seems that the boy had learned nothing from what ever disease had brought him here. "Where would you talk me, anyway? Because I don't want to go anywhere that doesn't meet my approval! Got it?"

Soon, they pass by the boy, and his voice disappears. It's over, and Oliver quickly decides that the boy is impatient, while he is understanding. The boy is selfish, while he is appreciative. The boy is rich, while he is poor, and Oliver was sure he was nothing like the ones who had willingly donated money for him just to live. And so Oliver pushes the ignorant boy into the back of his mind, and focuses on breathing--in and out and in and out again and again, and he's just satisfied that his chest rises and falls again and again without pain anymore, all because of the chance he was given to live, thanks to the thoughtful, compassionate donation.


	56. vent x Enigma

I own nothing.

_[ #59 vent x 150 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

Enigma

Victor absolutely hated it when anyone questioned his actions.

At first, the inquiries varied, but it gradually became too repetitive and too tedious for him to stand.

_Why boss everyone around all the time?_ Because he wanted work done, and he always tried to get what he wanted.

_Why hide in the lab?_ Because that was his job, and no one was going to stop him.

_Why not try to encourage us once in a while?_ Because he had never been given a reason to do such a thing.

_Why don't you go home and get some sleep?_ Because there would be people suffering every second he slept peacefully.

_Why don't you eat more than you do?_ Because all he needed was enough to breathe and perform his duties.

And he was waiting for someone to not wonder, but to just accept it all and let him have his reasons.


	57. diamond x Sojourn

I own nothing.

_[ #60 diamond x 300 words x rated pg x angst/drama ]_

_[ character spoilers ]_

Sojourn

Everywhere Markus goes, nothing ever goes completely wrong and nothing ever goes completely right anymore. It's no different at the hockey game that he had been forced to attend.

At first, everything is okay. He joins everyone else in talking and laughing about nothing at all as they wait for the game to start. When it begins, there's excitement all around and it flows through Markus, too, and for once he's able to feel adrenaline caused by something else besides the question of whether or not the patient will survive. Everyone screams and cheers at the top of their lungs, and their loud voices are never directed toward him and all the sins he's committed. And the players are running toward their goals, but never going in the direction to punish him, and everything is okay.

When Markus finally thinks he can relax, everything suddenly changes. He's being spoken to about Stigma and Professor Wilkins and he's being questioned about places he's been, places that caused him to be where he is today. He can't distract himself and drown out the unwanted voices by watching the game, because it's as if the arena has become an invaluable diamond. It shines so bright, too bright, telling Markus to go away because he doesn't deserve to find his way through the light and continue on to the main prize. He's not good enough for that, not at all.

He can't run, can't hide, and so he simply sits there. He wonders if anything is ever going to go the way he wants it to, as opposed to the way it deserves to be.

Even when tragedy strikes in the arena and after everything is joyful because a patient is saved, and everything is over, Markus still doesn't believe he has an answer.


	58. notebook x Don't Stop

I own nothing.

_[ #61 notebook x 150 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ minor character spoilers ]_

Don't Stop

Somewhere, Angie has a notebook containing information about the operations she had been a part of.

It's for her and her alone, for her to look back on in the future when she can't seem to find any determination or hope for a difficult situation. And so, she writes whenever she has the time. She writes of how Derek did this and Derek did that, while she watched in amazement and hastily handed him what ever it was he needed. There's even some pages written of her operations with Tyler, and how awkward it was to be working with someone new, but still, it gave her experience.

Angie keeps writing and she eagerly watches the notebook fill up until she has to get a new one, and another one, and then another one. It's a cycle consisting of of excitement, fulfillment, and bliss.

She hopes it never has to end.


	59. promise x Redemption

I own nothing.

_[ #62 promise x 200 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ new blood spoilers, mentions of death ]_

Redemption

When Markus is kidnapped and trapped and told that he will soon be gasping for air because of the water that will suffocate him, he knows it would be so easy to just do nothing. It would be so easy to watch the water rise, higher and higher, until he sees nothing at all. It would be so easy to drown the desperate questions regarding Stigma and the accusation that the ones who brought it into this world are monsters, without a doubt in anyone's wondering mind.

But Markus knows he still has so much to do. He had told himself he would do everything in his power to rid the world of Stigma to never see a patient worry about the unknown disease ever again. He had told himself that, on the way to Stigma's destruction, he would see nothing but smiles and laughter and tears of joy and hear nothing but thankful comments and the demands that required him to give his all.

And so, he focuses on escaping from the inviting water, because he has promises to keep, and miles to go before he feels that he can disappear from the earth forever without regrets or sorrow.


	60. ring x Sacrifice

I own nothing.

_[ #63 ring x 300 words x rated pg x angst/romance/drama ]_

_[ cynthiaxray, new blood spoilers ]_

Sacrifice

"You're not going to leave me, are you, Cynthia? You know me. I can take good care of you," a soft, manipulative voice says. Cynthia stands a few feet away from Ray, one leg pointed toward him, and and the other trying to run in the other direction, splitting her body and her heart in half. One part wants to stay and help, and the other wants to leave immediately.

_You've crashed, and you're covered with so much debris. You're crying inside harder than you ever have before. You're trying to crawl away like you've done it a million times before. Don't let him take you away, and don't--_

"Of course I know that," she says weakly, pathetically, her voice seemingly to belong to a tiny, insignificant mouse. She stares past his eyes, pretending to look into them, for him, and only him, because he needs to know someone cares in the life that's mistreated him for years and years.

_You're sinking into a sea of yourself and handing it over to him to control. You're regretting everything you've done so far, and you don't think you've ever felt pain like this before. Start digging, start clawing, because you have to escape--_

"Good. That's good," Ray replies. He steps toward her, and he stops when he's so close that Cynthia can feel his breath on her, spreading throughout her entire body, just like Stigma, his obsession. Cynthia doesn't move, resists the urge to tremble and scream and fight. She allows him to stroke her face with the tips of his cold, cold fingers. Eventually, they move down her arm and into her hand, and he locks his fingers with hers, and he knows he's won.

_Still, you'll sacrifice everything until he kills what ever comes first--his addiction, or you._


	61. cornerstone x Efficacious

I own nothing.

_[ #64 cornerstone x 150 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ second opinion spoilers ]_

Efficacious

Naomi knows that, while operating on famous Derek Stiles, she has two people to protect, not one.

There's not only the man lying motionless on the operating table before her, but his assistant standing next to her. Angie's shaking and can't seem to form coherent words and there are tears threatening to fall from her eyes, because Derek's the most important person to her, and he must be saved, no matter what.

Naomi knows it can't truly be helped. Angie had insisted on staying and helping her, and there was nothing that could change her mind. And so, Naomi simply watches Angie out of the corner of her eyes, prepared to get help if she suddenly reaches a breaking point. She operates on Derek at the same time, and her movements are flawless and swift, as they always are.

It's all that she can do for the two of them.


	62. angel x Transfiguration

I own nothing.

_[ #65 angel x 250 words x rated pg x drama/romance ]_

_[ markusxvalerie, new blood spoilers ]_

Transfiguration

Markus had noticed that everyone close to Valerie had changed.

Some people were just too obvious, like Cynthia and her strong self and her desire to help others being shattered, and her curious and determined heart suddenly knowing nothing but shackles. Ray had once wanted to help anyone and everyone, despite the secrets they may have had, despite the sins they may have committed. And then, he started destroying the entire world.

Nearly everyone else was more obscure. Those with brave souls walked along the streets, well aware of the disease that could enter their bodies at any moment and ruin them, but still, they moved, with caution and without trust. Others simply stayed inside their homes, waiting for it to be all over, waiting for someone else to rescue them.

Valerie once told Markus that he was, perhaps, the only one who hadn't changed on her, and for that, she was grateful. Markus wanted to tell the faithful doctor was that it was because he had already changed, before they even knew each other. He changed when he first discovered Stigma, because he knew how lethal it was to anyone it into contact with. He was no angel of hers for remaining who he was, but she believed it, and he lied to himself to make himself believe it, too.

And for her, he also kept quiet to make sure she didn't feel alone and lost, and he held on to everything they had to keep her from breaking.


	63. thousand x Antidote

I own nothing.

_[ #66 thousand x 200 words x rated g x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie ]_

Antidote

Angie was not a surgeon. She was well aware of that fact.

Unlike Derek, she could not cut open patients and she could not treat their wounds as delicately as possible. She could not feel the same intensity that he did, and she could not understand how stressful the Healing Touch truly was because she did not have the skill to use it. She could not comprehend the feelings he experienced when closing up a patient that he had just saved, mostly on his own. Sure, she handed him the equipment he needed and encourage him, but really, he did all the work, she knew.

Angie wanted to be more useful. She could be there for him at the end of the day, when he tried to focus on something besides the hospital so his breathing would slow down and so he could smile instead of gritting his teeth out of nervousness. She could talk to him, make him laugh, and whisper a thousand words that she knew could make him turn red, make him turn his head away from embarrassment and make him feel wanted all at once.

He deserved it all, and so she did it, for him.


	64. guard x Dance

I own nothing.

_[ #67 guard x 150 words x rated g x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie ]_

Dance

Derek and Angie weren't afraid to admit they had never danced before. They were reluctant to begin moving when they heard the music start playing and got into the position they thought was correct.

Surprisingly, Derek didn't stumble over Angie's feet and Angie didn't suggest that they should stop. Instead, they kept their hands together and moved in a steady rhythm, each move complementing the other person's actions. They simply looked into each other's eyes, as they were no longer nervous about how well they were performing.

Eventually, the gap between the two of them decreased, as the close contact was comfortable enough and perhaps even desired and needed. Angie felt that she was protected, guarded, and Derek was glad that he then knew he could help someone outside of the hospital.

In a few minutes, they had taken a chance and felt that they had everything they ever wanted.


	65. earth x Game Over

I own nothing.

_[ #68 earth x 200 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ under the knife 2 spoilers ]_

Game Over

Adel knows now that he's been a fool who's stood on the sidelines, waiting for a chance to play. Adel knows now he's never going to participate, and he's never going to be the winner of this game.

Thanks to Derek and Angie, Adel was able to realize this. He knows now that the fight against GUILT is a game of who can get rid of the disease in the most amount of patients, rather than who can put the biggest smile on a person who is no longer infected. It's a game of who can destroy the disease permanently, and not just in the area that's suffering the most.

And now, he has a choice: to stay and watch their destruction, or leave and begin his own game, one that will play out better than any other. The decision isn't difficult to make, and so, he leaves the doctors that don't know anything about taking care of anyone on this earth, knowing it's game over for them very, very soon--sooner than they expect. For him, his game is only starting. He's got his own strategy and his own set of rules planned out, and he will not lose.


	66. yell x Atonement

I own nothing.

_[ #69 yell x 200 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ character spoilers, mentions of death ]_

Atonement

Kenneth knew that he was supposed to be destroyed by what he had tried so hard to support for years.

He didn't try to deny it. He didn't want to live anymore, didn't want to breathe knowing every single sin he had committed. But GUILT failed him, didn't tear at his insides until there was nothing left, and instead sent someone to save his pathetic soul.

He asked himself before the surgery over and over again why GUILT didn't complete the job it was destined to have. He wanted to scream and demand an answer, because there was nothing else he could think of doing to get himself out of the hole he had dug himself into. Was it because his life was still as powerful as it had always been and that there was much to offer, or was it because he was too weak and useless to even bother with?

Kenneth didn't find his answer until he opened his eyes after the operation and realized it was all over, until he saw his daughter again after so many years and was informed that he could atone for the sins that he had given control to for so long.


	67. return x Now Understand This

I own nothing.

_[ #70 return x 150 words x rated g x general/drama ]_

Now Understand This

All it takes is one doctor with an incredible ability.

All it takes is one assistant to help everyone she possibly can.

All it takes is one veteran to make sure that no one fails, because he knows how that feels.

All it takes is one director to keep everyone in line.

All it takes is one researcher to solve what is deemed as impossible.

All it takes is one nurse to aid in the healing process for those who have survived surgery.

All it takes is one comedian to keep everyone's spirits up when it hopelessness takes over.

All it takes is one head surgeon to trust himself and everyone else to do the right thing.

All it takes is one anesthesiologist to chase the pain away, to send patients into a dreamless slumber.

All it takes is one hospital to destroy GUILT and return the world to normal.


	68. broken x Sixty Seconds

I own nothing.

_[ #71 broken x 100 words x rated g x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie, second opinion spoilers ]_

Sixty Seconds

It takes ten seconds for Derek to grab his chest in pain and try to figure out what's going on.

It takes five seconds for Angie to ask what's wrong with the patient and hope it's not him that's injured.

It takes three seconds for GUILT to cause Derek to fall to the floor, unconscious.

It takes two seconds for Angie to realize that this is really happening.

It takes ten seconds for a likely diagnosis to be considered.

It takes thirty seconds for Derek to be taken away, leaving Angie unable to help the one she loves the most.


	69. prepare x Insidiousness

I own nothing.

_[ #72 prepare x 200 words x rated g x general/drama ]_

Insidiousness

When Victor was younger, he used to be scared of a lot of things.

He was afraid of the monster under his bed, the one that he thought invited him every night to be turned into a terrible creature and the one he thought growled at him whenever he declined with a mix of sweat and tears streaming down his face. He was terrified of the monster hiding in his closet, the one waiting for the right moment to strike and take him to somewhere he definitely didn't want to be.

And now, Victor knows that those kinds of monsters don't exist. He was relieved when he found out that he could sleep peacefully and walk without so much caution. Later on in life, he wasn't prepared to find out that, instead, there are other monsters, ones that he can actually see and hear and ones that he knows he can't run away from.

These particular monsters wear misleading masks that reveal dangerous smiles when removed. They have odd little names for every single of them. They speak as though they own the entire world and everyone and everything in it, even when they don't.

They are known as humans.


	70. suppose x Everything, Nothing

I own nothing.

_[ #73 suppose x 150 words x rated g x general/drama ]_

Everything, Nothing

In his lab, Victor has everything he could ever need.

He has his chemicals, which he cherishes more than anyone will ever know. He loves experimenting with the containers of all different sizes and shapes. He loves to see the reactions created in them and the discoveries he makes. After that, he enjoys writing about everything he's learned, and the pencil in his hand is always familiar and welcoming. He is grateful for the door that separates him from the outside world, because it has nothing to offer him.

Without his lab, Victor supposes he has nothing. No, he _knows_ he has nothing. Without the lab, he is completely useless, just like every other research he works with. He doesn't want to be like them, living a life without the chemicals or unique findings. And he'll never admit how frightened he feels when he thinks of a life like that.


	71. let x No Miscommunication

I own nothing.

_[ #74 let x 150 words x rated g x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie ]_

No Miscommunication

"Angie!" is all Derek has to say. And then, Angie is moving as fast as she possibly can to get the equipment she knows he needs. The urgency and harshness in his voice tells her what his intentions are, and so, she hands him the items without doubt. She continues to stand and observe after that, prepared for when he'll need her again.

"Derek!" is all Angie has to say. Sometimes, he'll have to treat tumors or suture the lacerations before doing anything else, and so, Angie will warn him with just his name, and he'll know. And then, Derek claims he knows already, and he'll get it done without problems. When finished, he continues with the operation normally, ready for anything else unexpected.

This communication between the two of them never fails. It's understanding and knowing and fulfilling all at once, and they never let it be anything else.


	72. intern x Good Intentions

I own nothing.

_[ #75 intern x 100 words x rated g x general/drama ]_

_[ new blood spoilers ]_

Good Intentions

Maria never intended to hurt anyone at all--

Still, she made a foolish decision and sent herself to the operation room--to be a patient instead of the intern that she was supposed to be.

Later, she found it extremely difficult to successfully observe all of the operations. It was too much for her to remember in such a small amount of time.

And other people in her country were suffering with every passing second. They were dealing with Stigma, a disease much more serious than any of her own problems.

--but she ended up hurting everyone around her anyway.


	73. leaf x Descent

I own nothing.

_[ #76 leaf x 150 words x rated pg x family/drama ]_

_[ character spoilers, mentions of death ]_

Descent

Derek climbs the tree, not caring about how many bruises will be on his hands, and not caring how many cuts will be present on his small legs afterward. What matters to him is showing his father that he can make it to the top without falling and having to be caught.

Eventually, Derek accidentally causes a leaf to float slowly to the ground. He stares at the golden color the object possesses, and notices it's the only one on the tree that's not green.

"Fall's coming, and the leaves are changing," his father says. "Change is always nice. Maybe some things will change for us, too."

"You think so? What do you think will happen?" Derek asks curiously.

"I don't know. We'll have to wait and see."

A few days later, Derek is brought to the hospital, lost and confused, and is told that his father can't be saved.


	74. cloth x Blue Ink

I own nothing.

_[ #77 cloth x 200 words x rated g x angst/drama ]_

Blue Ink

Ever since he was young, Victor knew what he wanted to do day after day. He had written in a piece of cloth long ago, and kept it with him through the years, just to assure himself he'd never forget.

He would wake up--but he would do it only once. It would be the beginning of it all, and every time he would awaken afterward, it would blend in with everyone and everything else he'd forgotten. And he would go to work, and that would also be erased from his mind eventually. He would lock himself in the lab, and his only friends would be the chemicals and books he possessed. All he would hear were from the reactions he caused. He would believe they were cheering him on with fake voices that never wanted to echo. He would examine everything he could, and write down his thoughts and discoveries immediately, before they were lost like so many other things in his life.

The only times he believed he would break this cycle would be when someone deemed his findings useful, but he crossed that thought out in blue ink, because he didn't think it was possible at all.


	75. thread x Twists Of Fate

I own nothing.

_[ #78 thread x 150 words x rated pg x angst/drama/romance ]_

_[ cynthiaxray, character spoilers, mentions of death ]_

Twists Of Fate

Cynthia knows she's only hanging on by a thread every single second.

At any time, she knows, her life could end. It could end with a single press of a button, with a victorious smile and with a moment of insanity. And she doesn't know what it will feel like. She doesn't have a clue, and any amount of pain makes her think she's going to fade away within a matter of minutes. It could be a small cut, the feeling of swallowing food the wrong way, her stomach feeling twisted and destroyed. It could be anything at all.

She had always wanted, more than anything else in the world, for her and Ray to create their own future, and now, she has it.

This is the fate he carved out for her.

This is the fate she carved out for herself.

This is the fate they carved out together.


	76. needle x Premonition

I own nothing.

_[ #79 needle x 150 words x rated pg-13 x general/drama ]_

_[ swearing ] _

Premonition

Tyler watches the researcher work, noticing the determined look on his face and the focus that he doesn't think can be broken by anything. And he notices that he's writing with his right hand, and switches between beakers and test tubes with his left hand.

"Victor," Tyler says, "I didn't know you were ambidextrous."

Victor doesn't set his work down and looks up, irritated. "That's a big word for you, isn't it? But, yes, I am. It's useful, unlike you, at least."

"Do you think I could try and be ambidextrous so it would help in operations?"

"I don't think you could, even if you tried," Victor replies, grinning.

"Come on, Victor! You could help me with this, I'm sure! I say I try something simple with you first, so you can see if I'm doing it right. We could use a needle or--"

"Don't even fucking think about it."


	77. glass x Mirror, Mirror

I own nothing.

_[ #80 glass x 150 words x rated g x angst/drama ]_

_[ vague under the knife 2 spoiler ] _

Mirror, Mirror

Derek stares into a mirror, and he doesn't even recognize himself.

He sees dark circles under his eyes, and a frown that he can't seem to get rid of. His head isn't held up high anymore. His shoulders are slumped as if to say he's given up for good. He reaches out to touch the glass, and its coldness flows through his fingertips and throughout his whole body, reminding him of what he truly is.

And suddenly, he doesn't just see himself anymore. There's Angie and Greg and Mary and everyone else he's worked with, and they're all shining bright with their smiles and dancing eyes. He can hear their voices resounding over and over in his head, telling him to get to work, because he can do it, so there should be no worries whatsoever.

He just wants them to go away, because he doesn't deserve any of it.


	78. apple x Poison Apple

I own nothing.

_[ #81 apple x 200 words x rated pg x friendship/drama ]_

_[ mentions of death ] _

Poison Apple

Angie only has the best intentions. Her arms are persistently extended toward him, and her hand reveals a bright red apple that she wants to see him take, wants to see him eat and gain even the smallest amount of nourishment.

Still, Victor isn't hearing any of it.

When Angie says, "You're seriously underweight, Victor. That's not healthy at all," Victor hears, "Keep it up, and everyone will be all right in the end."

When Angie says, "Can you hear me? Please say something," Victor hears, "You don't have anything to say because you know I'm right."

When Angie says, "Just take this apple and I promise I'll leave you alone afterward," Victor hears, "Take this poison, and take it now. End it sooner."

Her pleading eyes are mistaken for eyes that only want to see him leave, forever and ever. Her frown is mistaken for a twisted smile that burns the truth into his mind. Victor doesn't want to deal with this anymore, and so, he turns around without saying a word, and disappears into his lab, while Angie can only place the apple outside of the door, hoping it's gone when she returns once again with another one.


	79. cup x Attenuation

Most annoying 150 words I have ever had to write. That is all. I own nothing.

_[ #82 cup x 150 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ mentions of death ] _

Attenuation

Lloyd knows that it's time for Stigma to say good-bye.

He sits, holding a glass of champagne in his hand, staring thoughtfully at the materials before him. It all had caused nothing but destruction and death and panic and grief, and it needs to go, and it needs to go now, Lloyd knows. Still, he lingers, wanting to make Stigma suffer just as much as everyone else had.

Slowly, teasingly, he positions his glass just above the endless papers and the daunting words, and pours it onto the papers. He watches the liquid land and move in all of the directions it possibly can, destroying the information that had failed to complete the task in the end.

And, silently, Lloyd dares Stigma to come back to life and cause turmoil once again.

When nothing happens, he smiles crookedly, knowing that Stigma is no longer a threat to anyone at all.


	80. overflow x Heartless Moon

I own nothing.

_[ #83 overflow x 100 words x rated g x drama/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie ] _

Heartless Moon

They walk together before returning to their homes.

Angie, she's just moving slowly, hoping, staring, wondering, wishing. Derek, he's just talking as he normally does, unaware of her overflowing feelings.

She occasionally looks up at the night sky and sees the moon. Surely, he can see it, too, for it doesn't make its true self invisible like she does. And silently, she prays that it will find a way to change into the shape of a heart, and that Derek will see and know it is from her to him, and he will finally know everything.

But it never does.


	81. blind x Beautiful Danger

I own nothing.

_[ #84 blind x 150 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ second opinion spoilers, mentions of death ] _

Beautiful Danger

Everyone except Cybil is panicking. Everyone except Cybil is threatened by the numbers on the clock that insist on decreasing, one by one, until there will be nothing left at all. Everyone except Cybil wants to run away and escape to to save themselves.

She's not blind to the fact of how menacing the situation is, and she refuses to allow her legs to take her wherever they think she needs to go to for safety. Instead, Cybil simply runs her fingers across the bomb and cherishes everything about it, thinking it's been a while since something so threatening had shown up in her dull, ordinary life.

It's dangerous, yes, but it's beautiful as well, because now, she can start giving instructions to herself and the doctor beside her, as it's time for her to once again prove that she can overcome anything that dares to get in her way.


	82. bonds x Silent Thoughts

I own nothing.

_[ #85 bonds x 100 words x rated g x general/romance ]_

_[ derekxangie ]_

Silent Thoughts

If anyone asks Angie about Derek, she says that he's clumsy, annoying, a little bit careless at times, that he's not the smartest person around, and he doesn't know what he's talking about most of the time.

And those who ask her will agree, because he really is all of those things.

What she never says is how passionate he is, how brave he is when it comes to his demanding job. What she never says is how, when an operation is finally completed, that smile of his always makes her feel like she can sing, like she can fly.


	83. sunset x Idiot

I own nothing.

_[ #86 sunset x 150 words x rated g x drama/romance ]_

_[ victorxlinda ]_

Idiot

Linda thinks that Victor is, without a doubt, an idiot.

He fights and fights against the impossible and makes it all so very real. He does it when no one probably stops to think about it all when the sun sets everyday, when no one stops to think about the sacrifices that are made for their own safety.

He shuts himself off from the entire world. He does it and then tries to come up with cures and saviors for those he despises, those he never, ever wants to come in contact with for as long as he's alive.

He gives up all of his time without asking for anything in return. He devotes his life to saving no one and everyone at once.

And so, Linda believes he's an idiot. But sometimes, she can't help but love him for it, and wish she could help the world somehow, too.


	84. blood x Idea

No, I do not know what I was thinking when I wrote this. o_O I own nothing.

_[ #87 blood x 200 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ mentions of blood and death ]_

Idea

Victor rarely eats because he doesn't need anything at all. He hardly sleeps because it wastes time. He scarcely speaks unless he absolutely needs to. He never stops to make sure he still shows signs of life, because it's not his own breathing and it's not his own pulse that he wants to see. He finds it difficult for him to be considered human at all.

And so he thinks that he is just an idea.

He's the idea that the impossible can become possible. He's the idea that there is a way to get rid of all of the diseases that are destroying the world and the creatures that inhabit it. He's the idea of what should be, the idea of what everyone wants.

And ideas, they don't love. They don't laugh and they don't smile and they don't cry and they don't bleed. They don't see or feel anything.

They just exist, and they either are proven to be successful or completely useless.

And Victor keeps this in mind as he works so diligently, works so that he makes sure that he does not fail.

And he ignores his own heartbeat that is dying slowly, piece by piece.


	85. pillow x Sick And Tired

I own nothing.

_[ #88 pillow x 150 words x rated pg x angst/drama ]_

_[ derekxangie, under the knife 2 spoilers, mentions of death ]_

Sick And Tired

Angie knows that Derek still has nightmares about his one and only true loss in the operating room.

She can tell by his sudden movements that consist of him reaching out to nothing and never finding what he needs. She can tell by the noises he makes, because he calls the lost boy's name and he cries please oh please don't die and please oh please just let him live. She can tell by the sad, sad look he gives her when he wakes up in the morning, and the eyes that threaten to spill tears. She can tell by the way he presents himself the next day, with short, uncaring responses to everyone he talks to and a slow walk that shows that he doesn't want to be anywhere at all.

All Angie can do is pull him closer to her and pray that the nightmares will someday disappear.


	86. clock x Matter Of Time

Hrm, never thought I'd write this pairing but I couldn't resist. I own nothing.

_[ #89 clock x 250 words x rated pg x drama/romance ]_

_[ victorxangie ]_

Matter Of Time

At first, Victor doesn't think that a girl like Angie belongs at a place like Caduceus.

He thinks that because she seems just like every other pretty girl that he's ever met. She has every doctor in the building looking her way when she walks through the halls, and everyone seems to be captivated with that bright smile and those shining emerald eyes of hers. When she isn't around and there's no emergency to speak of, she's the one being talked about by everyone, and he never hears anything besides compliments and questions that they refuse to say in front of her for fear of rejection.

For that, Victor avoids her, because he has better shit to deal with, and there's no time for drama about another pretty girl who thinks that she is the world, and that everyone else belongs to the other planets who just can't seem to stop revolving around her.

But time moves forward, and his thoughts change--slowly, because he tries to deny it for as long as he possibly can. They change gradually when he notices that she never stops in the middle of her job to acknowledge anyone else and their opinions about her, and they eventually change when he sees the clothes she wears to work every day, because they tell him that she is nothing but serious, and that nothing will stand in her way.

And so, Victor later thinks that, maybe, just maybe, she does belong at Caduceus after all.


	87. merry x Smile

...Aaand my 90 days challenge is officially over today, but since FFN was down when I first started, I'm still behind here. Going back all the way to #1, 2, and 3 before releasing the final one. :x

I own nothing.

_[ #1 merry x 100 words x rated g x general/family ]_

_[ second opinion spoilers, fluff ]_

Smile

The Christmas morning after Amy's surgery is different than any other one, Tyler notices.

He sees her smiling and laughing more than she ever has before as she opens her gifts. He also sees a difference in the way she reacts to her presents, because she seems genuinely thankful for everything she receives and she's eager to give to the other members of their family, something that she hasn't done in previous years.

She's simply grateful for the life that she still has.

And Tyler can't help but smile right along with her and enjoy life during the holiday, too.


	88. remember x Unforgivable

I own nothing.

_[ #2 remember x 300 words x rated pg-13 x general/drama ]_

_[ second opinion spoilers, mentions of cutting, minor swearing ]_

Unforgivable

When Derek remembers the different strains of GUILT, he recalls how each one of them were similar to the first patients infected.

Kyriaki found its way into Linda Reid, causing lacerations to her organs at the same time she was causing harm to her own wrists. When exposed by others, the Kyriaki would disappear, just as the young teenager had wanted to do.

Deftera was constantly moving, attacking silently; Amy Chase had made her way into the hearts of those who treated her, her disease effecting every one of them more than she'll ever know.

Triti was silent, just like Reuben. The lethal disease would wait until the correct moment to regenerate, and Reuben had waited until a decent time to hand over the GUILT research papers that were given to him by his brother.

Greg Kasal was always calm, yet strict. At first, Tetarti appeared to be unmoving, but then, when it was least expected, it would release poisonous mists to achieve what had to be done.

Pempti refused to give up and always having some kind of plan if something went wrong. Richard Anderson forced his body to go through three surgeries, and he made damn sure there was someone to take his place if he didn't survive.

Cybil Myers was tough, never showing any sign of weakness even in difficult situations. Paraskevi was often broken apart, but always found a way to strike back, never giving in unless it absolutely had to.

Savato was the deadliest, yet the most cowardly. Kenneth Blackwell hid from his family, not wanting to face his sins, and, finally, he infected himself with GUILT to avoid his sins.

Each strain fought to annihilate who each person was, as if their personalities were useless, unworthy of life.

To Derek, it was simply unforgivable.


	89. house x Vacation

I own nothing.

_[ #3 house x 100 words x rated g x general/drama ]_

_[ minor second opinion spoilers ]_

Vacation

After GUILT is finally destroyed, Derek is given a vacation. He knows he deserves it, and he's unsure of how much longer he could have dealt with the sleepless nights and the concentration that was required at all times.

He enters his house for the first time in what seems like forever. Nothing is familiar. The picture frames, the furniture, and his other belongings are entirely different from the hospital rooms he's been in during the GUILT attack. Derek knows he needs to clean, contact his family, and so much more...

Derek sighs. A doctor's work never seems to end.


	90. exercise x Conclusions

Hmm. This was supposed to be only 300 words, but it obviously didn't work out and oh well. Here's 700 words instead!

...And now it's finally over. I hope you have all enjoyed reading these just as much as I enjoyed writing these. =)

I own nothing.

_[ #90 exercise x 700 words x rated pg x general/drama ]_

_[ character spoilers, swearing ]_

Conclusions

_i. this is_

"So, yeah, I know it's a little different working with me because you're so used to working with Derek," Tyler says.

"It's... different, but that's all right. And it's not as if I do every single operation with you, anyway," Angie replies.

"That's true," Tyler says, looking around the room at all of the equipment, and it feels both familiar and unfamiliar to him as he stands with the assistant beside him, and he doesn't know what to make of it at the moment. He's hoping that Angie can shine some light into the situation, because he doesn't know where to even begin.

"It's all the same," Angie continues. "Suturing lacerations, treating hemorrhages and tumors and all the strains of GUILT, and... well, it's all the same."

"Well, I don't have the amazing ability that Derek does. That's not the same."

"No," Angie says, shaking her head. "You can save as many lives as Derek can. You can work just as hard, just as successfully as Derek can. And I can help you just as much as I can help Derek. It's all the same."

And suddenly, Tyler doesn't see anymore darkness.

_ii. the world_

"Is there any particular reason that you've come to see me, Dr. Clarks?" Sidney asks curiously, watching the man before him look around the room idly.

"No, not really," Stephen admits, directing his gaze toward the ground. He forgets his purpose for stepping into this room, this room of importance and power and reality.

"I see. Well, then, if you'll excuse me--"

"Actually, there is," Stephen interrupts, his mind suddenly changed-- because he doesn't want to give up and watch Sidney walk away, not again. He sighs, then continues, "I just want you to know that... that I'm still here. I still work here. I'm still a head surgeon here at Caduceus."

Sidney simply stares at the Stephen, his expression as emotionless as it always is. And so, Stephen turns to leave, as he's said what he wanted to, and there's not going to be any kind of response, anyway.

As soon as he reaches for the doorknob to leave, he hears Sidney say, "We know, Dr. Clarks. Trust me. We know. And to know that you're still here after all this chaos... Well, we owe you."

_iii. they know_

"Don't you have anything better to do than annoy me down here?" Victor asks the nurse that he finds constantly looking over his shoulders.

"Nope! You know you don't mind it," Leslie says cheerfully.

"I do. There's a train leaving town soon, I'm sure. So, go on and make the train before it leaves. Damnit, I hope you make it, because I think you should go as far away as possible."

Leslie frowns and stays quiet for a moment, unsure of what to say. All she knows is that she isn't going anywhere, whether the stubborn researcher likes it or not.

"Well? Are you planning on leaving or what?" Victor asks impatiently, stopping his work to turn to glare at her with the coldest eyes that she's ever seen.

After a few more moments of silence, she quietly says, "Of course not. Do you want to make that train and get as far away from here as possible?"

"No. I guess not," Victor replies, and Leslie swears that she can see his eyes soften, just a little.

_iv. and there is nothing else._

"I must say that you have no idea how proud all of us are," Dr. Hoffman states, placing his hands on the young doctor's shoulders and squeezes them reassuringly, sincerely.

"I... don't understand what you mean," Derek admits, ashamed.

"You've come so far, despite the obstacles that your gift brings you each and every day, and we appreciate it more than you'll ever know."

"It's... nothing, really, so--"

"Oh, but it's not nothing, Derek. It's everything. Don't ever forget that. Exercise your right to be happy, to help others, to be as successful as you possibly can. Don't ever let anything bring you down."

Derek looks up at Dr. Hoffman, surprised, and then all he can do is smile and say nothing, knowing that there's still so much more that he can do.


End file.
